Friday, March 29, 2013

Saying Goodbye

The first question that everyone asks when they find out you are fostering a child is always, "but won't it be hard to say goodbye?"  I have had people go so far as to say that they would NEVER foster a child for this reason.  In defense of foster parents, let me say that we are not a heartless bunch that can send kids out the door with no emotion.  On the contrary, we let them go because we love them, and because that is part of our job.

The best place for a child is always with a loving, stable relative who wants him, if that is possible.  When it is not possible, that is another story.  Luckily, in our case, it was.  We got very attached to Little Man, and were sad to see him go, but it was not depressing or traumatic for us.  He was only with us for a month, and we were able to have a relationship with his mother during his stay with us.  We determined early on that the best place for him would be with his aunt, who had him as a baby.  So when it came time to say goodbye, we felt that he was going to a place where he would be loved and well cared for.  We loved him up as much as we could while he was here, but we knew all along that he was not ours to have forever.

I'm sure there will be children who we will have to send home to situations we don't feel good about, and that will be much harder.  But this time around, the kids and I drove him back to his family, hugged him a happy goodbye, and will continue to think about him and pray for him.  We have a picture of him up on our wall, and we made matching picture books of his time with us- one for him, and one for us.  To be cliche, our work here is done.  

I will say, I see how fostering children can be addictive.  We are already looking ahead, wondering who will come to us next.  Boy?  Girl?  Baby?  Big kid?  And going back to just our three kids suddenly makes life seem easier.  Only three?!  Piece of cake...why did this used to seem hard?  I remember that feeling after adding each of our children as is all what you get used to.

One other thing I want to note is that we have been careful to emphasize to our three kids that we will NEVER send them to another mommy, and that they are with us forever.  They have gotten a lot of extra snuggles and reassurance, and they seem to be handling it fine so far.  They mention Little Man now and then- like when we see a Mickey Mouse (his favorite) or when Daddy comes home from work (he would run across the whole house to get his hug).  I think that is good- we certainly don't want to forgot the kids that come through our home!

Read the other posts I have written about our experience with hosting children through Safe Families:
Our DecisionApplication and HomestudyHe's Here

Linking to Inspire Me Monday1Epic Mom


  1. Beautiful! My heart has been thinking this way too as of late! I love reading your posts and look forward to more!

  2. Nothing makes 7 seems so easy as having TEN for a while! :)

    There will be those that are easy to love and those that are hard to endure, but they all leave footprints on our hearts when they go.

  3. What a beautiful post! I love the matching books and the picture of him on your wall. What sweet ways to remember! :)

  4. Fostering is special and it takes special ppl to do so. You spend a season in these childrens life for how ever long it will be during that time you plant seed in their life, My sister was a foster parent, she end up adopting two of her foster children and raised them as her own. You are lives, God bless you, and pray what you are doing will have an lasting affect on these childrens life.Visiting from the blog hop.
    Living F.A.B.ulously on Purpose