Monday, May 6, 2013

In All Honesty

This has been a hard week child hosting-wise for us...which is somewhat ironic since we are not currently hosting a child!

It is turning out that, for us anyways, the hardest part of this gig is not the caring for the child part.  The hardest part is being thrust into the drama surrounding these children.  Homelessness.  Addiction.  Wards of the state.  Teenage mothers.  Broken families.  Poverty.  Parental rights being terminated.  Scary stuff.

We have gotten calls from all of our past families this week.  We babysat Little Miss (so good to see her again!), said we couldn't immediately take Little Man back, but are staying in close contact with mom, who is once again out on her own with him.  Little Guy is coming back to us in a few weeks to spend a weekend.  While we are thrilled to stay in contact with these kids and walk beside their mothers as they work through tough times, it is also a lot to handle.  This is what we wanted- what we liked about this program- but it is a lot.  We look at each other and just shake our heads.  Part of us just wants to wash our hands of these ridiculous situations.  But at the bottom of each of these situations is a child.  A sweet, innocent child we have grown to love.

Just tonight I got a call that made my heart sink...a grandma asking if we have Little Miss.  Do we know where she might be?  Because she is missing, along with her mother.  Please let it be a big misunderstanding where they both turn up safe and sound.  Just this afternoon her mother called to ask if I could watch her, and I said no. Not because I couldn't have, just because we didn't want to be a crutch for bad behavior, or be taken advantage of.  Man, I wish that little girl were snoring in the next room right now.

I don't share this because I want to gossip or spread the drama.  I share this because I have been trying to be honest about our experience thus far, and this is part of it.  It can look all neat and tidy when we show up to church each week with a different, adorable child.  We take cute pictures and slot them into our lives until it is time to send them home.  But there is a lot of ugly that goes along with it.  Much of it I cannot share, even anonymously...but believe me it is there.  These kids are really truly in unimaginable situations.  Pray for all of our little ones tonight- that they are safe in bed somewhere, and pray that we have the wisdom to know what our role is in all this.

1 comment:

  1. I understand. I still get texts from the mama of our last host kids. Our first host kids, however, we still wonder how they're doing, if they're in school, etc... The middle set, the easiest ones, I feel pretty good about. I think they're family is going to be okay. It's hard.